Ogden Valley Two-Thirdsathon

Before the race, I look like I totally intend to do it, don't I? Cheerful. Wearing the right costume.

I've got my transition area all set up like a real triathlete.

I squeezed halfway into a tight little wetsuit.

(This is with Janessa, who is a real athlete who won 3rd place. I'm hanging with the right people.)

 This is where I would post a photo of me on the podium, or at least me with my finisher medal.


crickets...


I read on TriUtah website the night before the race that the swim was 1K. I haven't swam a thousand meters without a current going the same way as me in YEARS. Maybe ever. So my heart started beating fast, then I went to bed where TB was watching Airplane Repo which is a very exciting and tense series full of airplane and helicopter thefts. So my heart didn't slow down the whole night and not in the morning when I kissed the kids goodbye and left them under the watchful eye of cousin Dallin. I tried and tried to be cool about swimming, but I have a short history of freaking out about water and about swimming in open water, and I couldn't overcome it and I couldn't start swimming when everybody else took off. Since I was the only person left in a wetsuit, everyone was staring at me, including a race staff member. I told him I didn't start and he said, "Go turn in your timing chip at the finish line." I honestly said, "I think I'll just do the bike and the run." He said, "When you withdraw, you can't do the rest of the race." I don't think I looked compliant at that second. "You better give me your chip right now." I gave it to him and started the walk of shame. Since I was bare-foot (I kind of intended to swim until the last second. I got wet and everything.) I had to go over to the carpeted swim exit trail to get up the hill away from the water. Since I was one of the first wet people in a wet suit to pop up over the hill toward the transition zone, all the spectators started cheering, "Good swim! Good time! Yay!" So I just ran my chip-less self into the transition zone and took off my wetsuit and put on running shoes and slunk out of the transition zone to considerably less fanfare. I was going to stand there and pout until Marty and Sherry said to just go finish the course. I did the bike and run and felt quite conspicuous without my timing chip, but no one noticed. I refused the finishing medal at the finish line, ate my finisher's cookie and headed home with my tail between my legs. The drive in Weber Canyon was beautiful and it rained so hard!

Do you know who did finish the race? Team Chad, with 37-year-old Chad right in the middle of it. It was kind of an amazing thing to watch.
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